It certainly has taken me a while to have the courage to write this post, as I didn’t want to fail even before I started. But I think I am ready to throw this out there.
I have a horrible vice – I smoke. I want to quit. I was able to quit during both of my pregnancies, however it took a mere nanosecond after my children were born and I was lighting up a cigarette again. I know, I am horrible – trust me I have beaten myself up over this so many times…
I just knew I had to quit sooner or later… I was hoping for later, but my brain had another brilliant idea. Although I have been getting no sleep at night thanks to my sleepless toddler, my brain said what better time to quit than now! (insert sarcasm here) I thought to myself how the hell am I going to do this???
So after looking around for rescources on quitting smoking, I have decided to quit using online group support at QuitNet.com (of course, I had to do it online LOL! My entire life is online, so why not!)
***If I seem to be rambling, digressing and/or not making sense, please forgive me – I am speaking through a nicotine-less sleep-deprived fog right now…***
Anyhow, here’s a few of my brief journal entries on QuitNet to give you a glimpse of how I have been feeling and how I am doing thus far:
10/21/2008 [Public Entry]
I made up my mind, this time I am quitting for good. Every time I light up a cigarette I feel guilt and disappointment in myself. Every night I tell myself that I will quit, that I HAVE to quit. Then, I wake in the mornings coughing, and within an hour I am outside in my garage smoking my first cigarette of the day. I can’t wait to be smoke-free and guilt-free.
10/23/2008 [Public Entry]
So my quit date is on the 28th which is in 5 days. I am trying to mentally prepare myself for this without overthinking it. Today I have actually not had a cigarette yet. I woke up at 8am and here it is nearly noon, with no cigarette. Although I have to say the urge is getting more and more intense and I know when the 28th arrives that the urge will be all the more strong. I am scared of feeling this way throughout hell week and beyond – I wonder, do the intense urges ever fade or go away completely??
10/24/2008 [Public Entry]
Ok, I decided not to fret over the mental preparation for my quit day. I instead I did something crazy! I woke up this morning and said “THAT’S IT!” and changed my quit day to TODAY. This way I completely got rid of the mental anguish and anxiety of the next 4 days. So far so good! I am armed with my Nicotrol Inhaler and the supportive people on the Q. I can do this!
9 hours, 59 minutes and 10 seconds smoke free.
6 cigarettes not smoked.
$1.53 and 1 hour of your life saved.
So, there you have it! I quit on a whim. I didn’t wait for my “official quit day”. I am craving like mad and am sitting here wringing my hands, but I am doing it. I am NOT smoking.
I can now proudly show my stats as of right this second: 1 day, 22 hours, 38 minutes and 1 second smoke free. 29 cigarettes not smoked. $3.67 and 5 hours of my life saved.
I’ll actually get into the real nitty gritty as to why I had to quit in a couple of posts… I am just not prepared to talk about it right now, but I will soon.
Wish me luck!
13 responses so far ↓
1 VDog // Oct 25, 2008 at 11:10 pm
Good for you, girl!! It’s much healthier not too…don’t you deserve that?? Doesn’t your family deserve that??
I wish you the best of luck for your continues success.
VDog’s last blog post..It All Started Out So Innocently…
2 A Whole Lot of Nothing // Oct 25, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Go Mama!!!
5
Cyber HIGH
A Whole Lot of Nothing’s last blog post..Gnawing Off My Own Nose
3 dysfunctional mom // Oct 26, 2008 at 12:17 am
I am so proud of you, and I wish you the best of luck! I’ve never been a smoker but I’ve watched other people quit/try to quit and I know it’s terribly difficult.
xoxo
dysfunctional mom’s last blog post..FFFF ~ Interesting….
4 Hockeyman // Oct 26, 2008 at 12:39 am
Good luck. Hardest thing I ever did after smoking for 7 years, but I’ve been a non-smoker for 12 years. I have a better plan than patches, cold turkey, etc.. if interested. But you have to really WANT to quit if so. Let me know,
Hockeyman’s last blog post..Yep, that’s me?
5 LaskiGal // Oct 26, 2008 at 1:21 am
That is HUGE. Good for you . . . good for you for putting it out there!
It isn’t easy . . . but it can be done!
Best of luck to you!!! I’m pulling for you!
LaskiGal’s last blog post..The Placenta Story
6 Tara R. // Oct 26, 2008 at 9:11 am
You can SO do this. You have a huge support system with all your bloggy pals. Good luck and let us know how we can help.
Tara R.’s last blog post..Smörgåsbord Sunday~ life is good.
7 OHmommy // Oct 26, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Way to go Momma. You can do this. Smoking is so not classy anyways. You know? It really really isn’t and you are a very strong woman. Keep it up babe!
OHmommy’s last blog post..The incoherent ramblings of a mommy blogger gone kaput
8 Shamelessly Sassy // Oct 27, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Good luck. I quit smoking when I was pregnant. But I still sometimes smoke when I drink, every few months or so.
Shamelessly Sassy’s last blog post..One time I Hit someone with my Car (ON PURPOSE)
9 Miss // Oct 28, 2008 at 1:02 am
Good luck! Smoking is a tough thing to stop. You can do it girly!
Miss’s last blog post..Say
10 Kim // Oct 29, 2008 at 2:42 pm
I know you can do it A.. good luck and come to me for support if you need it.. seeing I am a former smoker myself..
Kim’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Busted
11 rachel // Oct 29, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Good luck sweetheart.
I know that you can do it! You will be so much happier and healthier!
rachel’s last blog post..Links for Pink, Raggedy Kids and The Boobnanza
12 Kristin // Nov 16, 2008 at 9:05 am
I clicked through from someone elses blog, so this is my first time reading your blog. I have to tell you that I quit, cold turkey on 07/07/07. I heard it was the luckiest day of the year, so I decided to do it then. I needed all the luck I could get.
I ended up smoking one day when I went out of town & then another weekend a few months later – once again, I was alone. I think I smoked 2 packs that weekend. I could hardly breathe when I finally got home. After those two miss steps I haven’t had another one. I thought about smoking more often than I ever imagined, but finally a year+ later, I don’t think about smoking at all anymore. I did it. I started smoking when I was 15 and quit when I was 41. I hope you are still smoke free. If not, quit again. Quit every day if you have to.
I don’t know you, but I am so proud of you.
Kristin
Kristin’s last blog post..Tribute to Life
13 Just when things start looking up… // Nov 18, 2008 at 10:55 pm
[...] I am proud to say that I have quit smoking. I quit on October 24th, admitted my vice on the 25th, and can now proudly proclaim that I am exactly 25 days, 22 hours, 52 minutes and 27 [...]
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